0407 235 322 tamar@tamarbenhur.com

While I was in Athens, my husband had to return to Australia unexpectedly, a week before me. I was almost ashamed at the level of joy I experienced just by having the space apart from him. My daughter suddenly became ill, meaning that she was unable to travel, hence I was unable to accompany my husband and son home.  We had been traveling for 5 weeks together. Deep down, I was probably desperately craving time apart from my husband after such an intense time of travelling together. But if I dig deeper to understand this phenomenon, there may be more to it.

I’d like to share the specific feeling I experienced upon having unexpected breathing space from my intimate relationship. Others have shared during relationship counselling sessions, that they have had this experience too. It’s the feeling you have when a heavy blanket is lifted off your body. All of a sudden, you feel how heavy it was and how much lighter you are without it. Along with the lightness of being, you may also feel energized, inspired, motivated and curious. A few of my clients have described this phenomenon when their partner (whom they mostly love very much) leaves or goes away for a time or distance above and beyond the usual day to day.

I was talking to a male friend of ours and he jokingly said, ‘We know that you faked your daughter being sick, so you could extend your stay without the boys.’

Immediately my thoughts went out to so many women, including myself, about why it felt like such a relief to take time without our beloved men (husbands, sons, fathers and friends). What is that sigh of relief really about, when they just let us just be, without them?

I believe that the answer partly lies in the fact that there is an unseen energetic exchange between the feminine and the masculine that occurs when we are together and that influences both people in a couple. It is part of our attraction to each other and it provides something we need from each other. However, if we don’t take time out to unplug from this polarity, things can get extremely depleting. Sometimes the only way to truly psychically and physically unplug is to physically move apart.

This is why I have the energy to write and paint when I’m not in the presence of my beloved. And it is why I climbed the Acropolis (literally) that day in Athens. Over and out ?